Oy. This is bugging me. A few days ago I pulled an old cookbook out I had gotten when I used to live in Melbourne OZ and flipped to my favourite recipe. Yes I thought. I haven’t made this in ages. I went out and got the ingredients and last night started chopping and cooking.
My husband is in a state of glee. “You are making dinner?? Reeealllly??” He was so happy. A little too happy. I was about to playfully give him shit when it hit me like a freight train: I hadn’t cooked us dinner in six months. COVID hit right before I was going to take this intense life-overtaking course (which wound up being online of course) and I lost my job. I focused on the work and made myself crazy with it, spending 12-14 hours on my laptop everyday.
Once I graduated I launched into another course with similar workload. Because of all of this I have been living a rather subhuman life: endless days in pjs, not seeing people enough due to the rona, questioning my self worth, takeout on takeout on takeout, fits of rage and depression. You know the deal as mannnnnnnnyyyyy of you can relate.
Anyways, I love my husband. He’s so great. He does so much for me and with his goofy smile and little pet names, I don’t know what I would do without him. But holy f**k I need to learn balance. I can’t just bury my head and let him do the rest. So today is going to be different. Today I strive for balance and a small way to show my appreciation. Today I will be better.