So, about a month ish and a week ago I started dating a man. He was everything I wanted, or at least, he seemed to be. I won’t go into too much detail, but I really felt like it was going so well.
A few days ago he said he loved me… I was really… slightly weirded out by that. It’s… too damn soon for me. It felt off but I kind of just went along with it because nothing else was “off”.
His ex hit just me up. I wanted to trust him, but I’ll asked her to show me evidence.
There was a lot of evidence.
She had 2 long recordings. 1 of him driving recklessly in his car (which, he’s a car guy, it WAS his car, it has a specific engine.) they were arguing and he was driving way too quickly and kept stomping on the breaks and laughing at her and fighting her. He also was flipping out about her guy friends. She “wasn’t allowed” to have guy friends.
The second was worse. More fighting, possessiveness, he very obviously hit her, and had very aggressive rapey sex with her (she kept saying “I don’t know” and “no” and he kept going and mocking her.
Screenshots proving he cheated multiple times. Screenshots proving he was insanely possessive. Screenshots even proving he lied about going to therapy!
It got me into a f**king flashback. The things he said and the way he said them reminded me of my alcoholic abusive ex. Hitting, raping, even being abusive to her in front of his family (who didn’t help her at all and let it happen)— that’s ALL HAPPENED to me! You guys, I started shaking and I didn’t stop for an hour.
I told my now ex everything, and that I had seen evidence. He started by lying, but then kept saying “I’m different now! I’m a different man!” Yeah, than a month ago?!
So, this girl and I made acquaintances/friends. We’re hyping each other up and telling each other how we are worth more. God damn. He even seems to prey on chronically ill women—we both have severe chronic illness!
I’m hurt and sad but I am so goddamn thankful this woman reached out to me. And I told her she had more than enough evidence to implicate him in multiple forms of abuse.
God damn, I’m hurt but… happy? This girl helped me not stay in something abusive. This is women helping women. Honestly kinda warmed my heart. I lost a boyfriend…. but gained a friend.